I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
