I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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