We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
