your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
