C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
