it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
