Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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