Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize