fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Randomize
