Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
