My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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