He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
