she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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