Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Randomize
