New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
