is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Randomize
