**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
