I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
