just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
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