You made me cry and you don't even care
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Randomize
