God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Randomize
