so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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