May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I can't put those talents on a resume
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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