by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Is it because I queefed?
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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