3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
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