how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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