It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
