I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
