I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
