omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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