The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
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