Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
Randomize
