Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
