Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
