It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
