brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
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