apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
