she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
