guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
