I just cut my nipple shaving
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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