TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
