well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
