i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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