She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
