Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
