he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
