Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
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