If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
