I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
my nose is crying tears of wow.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
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