you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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